I've been reading an essay a night before bed from the book "Naked" by David Sedaris. A lot of these essays are about him hitchhiking, or mention his hitchhiking that he did whilst in college. It reminded me of a hitchhiking story or sorts that I have.
I grew up in a small town called Barnum. It's about eight miles west of Fort Dodge. Coming home one morning from class or somesuch, I turn off the highway onto the stretch of road that leads to Barnum.
On that mile stretch of road, there was a woman walking along the side of the road. She flagged me down. I figure she either wanted to ask a question or a ride into town. So I pull off to the side of the road, and roll down the window. She tells me she wants a ride into town. Sure, it's only about half a mile into town.
She opens the door and sits on the passenger side. Along with herself, she brings the smell of the Budwiser Brewery. Her breath smelled as if she licked a barroom floor, and then went back for seconds.
She tells me to just take her up to the bar, because she's going to use the phone. This is followed by some nonsense and jibberish. Then she asked if I knew John Smith(I can't remember the actual name, so this will have to do). I told her that I did not. She then tells me how she is related to this John Smith, and how it used to be that you did not fuck with him or anyone in his family. If I did, I would come to regret it.
We get to the bar, and it's closed, she can't get in. I put the car in reverse and tried to slowly eek out of there before she could think of how I could give her a ride elsewhere. It didn't work she ran up to the passenger side and remembered that I said I lived in Barnum, and she could use my phone. What could I say, you don't fuck with John Smith or his family. Which I heard about four more times in the three block drive to my house.
We get to the house. Drunk Woman gets out of the car, and goes into the house before I do. My Mom was there and was in shock. I made a "drinky drinky" motion, and said that Drunk Woman wanted to use the phone. The woman used the phone, couldn't get ahold of anyone. She then says to Mom that I must be a very nice husband. Mom says that I'm her son. Drunk Woman was shocked for some reason. Then she tells Mom about John Smith and how he's not one to fuck with. Then she asked if we had a beer in the house. Mom went to the fridge, and we indeed did have a beer. The woman grabbed it, reached in her purse, and pulled out a ten dollar bill. She hands it to Mom and says, I have to pay for the beer. She then asks if she could have a ride back to the bar until it opened. I said sure. I never saw Drunk Woman again, and John Smith never came to get revenge.
This week went very quick, and was extremely busy. Even though it was only a four day work week. Not much at all happened. Very dull, but busy none the less.
I can't remember what I did in my free time this week. I think just watched movies and read mostly. I finished "A Long Way Down". Very very good. I think my next book will be another Nick Hornby book. The only two fiction ones I haven't read are "How to be Good" and "Fever Pitch" which isn't really fiction. It's a sort of an autobiography of himself, and how much he's addicted to football(or, to us stupid Americans, soccer).
There is something else I could talk about here, but am going to wait for a bit. To see how things go. Plus it's something for readers to look forward to.
Until next time.
America's Cup boats
3 weeks ago
